Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
