I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
