She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
