I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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