I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
