ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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