the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
