is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
