No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
