I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
