Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
