Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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