ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
