O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
