what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
