Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
