you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
