honey bunches of taint.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
