She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
