i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
