A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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