What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
