Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
