Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
