I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
