I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
