somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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