The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
