Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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