just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
