Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
