I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
