this just has baby written all over it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
