i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
