dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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