Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
