That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
