I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love having hate sex.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
