speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
