i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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