Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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