would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
