i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
