I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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