Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
