the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
