I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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