wakey wakey hands off snakey
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
