If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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