Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
