She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
