Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
