I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
