During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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