So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
