Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
